Hi everyone! Today is definitely going to be a sappy post.
Lately I have been under somewhat of a dark cloud, or as Brandon put it, a "dark storm." Yeah, I think his description suits it better. But thanks to an entire Saturday of getting enough sleep, thinking very hard about things, then talking to my sweet love about everything (opening my heart completely), and listening to him tell me that he is there for me always and we should come to each other in OPEN HONESTY if we are ever having a hard time, I felt it was finally time to snap out of it for good. I can't help but feel so blessed to have such a loving husband, who is there for me unconditionally, who bought all this comfort food for me that I don't normally get to eat, who really is like the other half of me. I can't imagine life without him and I just know that no matter how bad outside stresses are, we can come to each other for comfort. We are able to get through anything if only we have each other. We both have a belief that if one person is going through a hard time, of COURSE it affects the other person, since our lives are bound together. And therefore, we try to help the other person out if they are not feeling quite like their normal happy self. I think God knew that Brandon had to be the one I ended up with, because no one has ever had this kind of connection with me, and I really do not know how I would have ended up if I never met him. I feel extremely spoiled to have Brandon in my life, especially during these stressful and anxious times I was experiencing.
If I could give some advice to anyone on how I have been able to get past this hard phase in my life, it would be this:
1) Communication - This is seriously one of the hardest things to do, especially if you feel like you are on an emotional roller coaster, or you feel things are not going right around you, or if you are depressed, or if you think you are right about everything (even when you really aren't). But let me tell you, without proper communication, it is hard to come out from under a dark cloud. Sharing what is really in your heart can do miracles in mending a broken heart or easing a troubled mind. Communication is two-sided, meaning that you are completely honest and upfront about what is going on in your mind, .... AND THEN!!! the really hard part.... you have to listen to your spouse's side of the story, and hear what they have to say to you. It could turn out that they have a lot of helpful feedback for you. This is best to do when you are not tired and cranky. Wait for a moment that is good for both of you. If you are not married, the same can apply to a best friend or a trusted family member you are talking to. Also, if you feel like you are going to say something stupid or mean that you might regret to your loved one.... BITE YOUR TONGUE. No need to sever a good relationship in order to be "right."
2) Discipline - If you make a plan to solve the problem... follow through with it. Do not get tied up in other seemingly important things or distracted by other duties. Right now is the time to get out of depressing thoughts and this should take a high priority to make sure you are able to get out of this pattern of thinking. I talked about happiness despite circumstances here. It takes a great amount of discipline, and ONLY YOU are the one that can do your part in taking care of these things. Please do not rely on your spouse or anyone else to get things done for you. But by all means, if you need their help with certain things that they ARE able to help with... refer back to #1. Communicate with them to help you to achieve this sense of discipline.
3) Center Yourself - However you are able to do this, make sure you have the realization that you have the strength to get through any trial. I tend to pray, read scriptures, journal, and meditate. This is what helps me to center myself and find a greater purpose in my life. I have friends who go running. I am not able to do that so much due to exercise-induced asthma, but what doesn't work for me may very well work for other people to become centered. Maybe Yoga will help?
4) Take Care of Health - Believe me.... when you are running off of 5-6 hours of sleep a night, this is just not going to cut it. You think you can function properly with a clear head, but really your tiredness can overwhelm you so much that you become a grump - even around those you care about most! This is detrimental if this pattern keeps going on especially in a marriage relationship. Same goes for eating healthy foods and regular exercise. Honestly, if you are not feeling as healthy as you can be, your whole existence will feel a bit thrown off. I really believe that mind and health correlate with each other inseparably.
Well, once again I just have to thank my dear husband for being there for me during hard times, and for sharing pearls of wisdom with me and for his unconditional love. AND for spoiling me on a day that was really hard to cope with.
Everyone else, please check out Brandon's blog, where he posted a recipe for my favorite pumpkin cookies. They are better than ANY recipe I have ever tried for pumpkin cookies, and are pretty healthy. (Yes, he baked them for me to help cheer me up today) Also, my picky-eater step father in law who hates pumpkin absolutely loves these cookies too. And the best part is.... Brandon created this recipe off the top of his head. Absolutely no help from anyone else. He just knew how much I loved pumpkin cookies so he became a genius at making them.
This post was pretty long, GOODNESS. But I just thought it would be selfish to have kept those gems of advice to myself when they seriously helped me so much. After a couple of months of not being 100% the happiest I could be, the things I mentioned really helped me come back to my senses. And I hope they can help you as well.
P.S. Happy birthday to my brother-in-law Ashley! You are just awesome! xoxox
~Sincerely, Ashleigh Son